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I’m a Bitch

Anyone remember that Meredith Brooks song from the 90s?

Technically the title was “Nothing in Between”, but personally, that’s not the essence of the song that I remember.

Throughout her guitar-strumming, black boot-wearing video she was reveling in the many shades of herself. We are so complex – every one of us. We’re each both a sinner and a saint; it just depends on who you ask.

I get so fed up with falsity, and it’s not because I don’t example it at times. We all do. I can small talk really well, even though I don’t like small talk. I always feel like my brain needs a shower afterwards. I realize small talk helps me relate to other people that I don’t know very well, but I have always felt like it is a time waster for the real conversations we could be having.

Intense much??

Anyway, it’s not often polite to say to someone I just met or don’t know very well “So, I can sense you’re feeling dissatisfied with your sex life right now” or “Wow, you’re really working through some issues with your dad”.

Those aren’t the best icebreakers.

So I hold it in – and smile and talk about the weather. Is that unusual? I doubt I’m so alone in this or that most of us don’t sense these things, but because of carefully constructed social requirements we never mention them. And maybe that’s the way it should be. Maybe those social constructs are in place for good reason. I don’t fucking know.

All I know is that we are multi-dimensional creatures seeking truth in connection with ourselves and others.

Anytime I see someone trying their hardest to present themselves as a one-dimensional version of who they are, it’s pretty much impossible for me not to consider the other sides of them…and more importantly, why they aren’t showing them.

download13A recurring theme I’ve noticed in readings with clients is the struggle to learn  firstly to accept and then, secondly, to balance our whole selves. We’re human, which (I believe) means we’re here to walk our individual paths and learn to acknowledge and manage - and at best, be at peace with – that of which we’re comprised. And it’s not all pretty.

As I’ve posted before in The Attitudes of Platitudes, it’s important we focus on the positive and not the “haters”. I still support that. But I also believe we turn on our “internal haters” when we deny any part of ourselves as real.

Sometimes we suck. Every one of us. But most of the time we’re awesome, and I believe in focusing on that. Just don’t get lost in your own spin – stay grounded – because then when life inevitably reminds you of your darker side, you’ll have your feet to stand on.

 

Postscript: After reading this post, my husband showed me this:

http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/10/7-things-happen-to-you-when-you-are-completely-honest/

He thought we were saying some of the same things; the author of the other post calls posing “personal branding”.

 

Post-postscript: Anyone else notice the Maiden/Mother/Crone flash in the beginning of the song video? Awesome. ;)



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